Love. Love what matters. Love what is real. Don’t feed the fear monsters… I rally because I’m tired. I rally because too many times, I’ve tried to talk with friends and ended up feeling worse not better. Care Partnering means doing what I can to help my partner – my husband. It means we work together for better living. We team up. We work through it together. Simple thought. Better Words.
I’m tired of hearing:
“You do too much for him. You should make him do that. Why can’t he do that? Why are you doing that for him? You need to take care of yourself! Why don’t you just stop doing stuff for him? Let him do it himself. He just needs to buck up and fight for his life. He just needs to push himself harder ” And frankly, the next people who offer this kind of advice may not like the responses I give next.
It’s abundantly clear to us. Isn’t it to you? All this kind of judgemental advice does is make the person who says it feel better. The FACT is this kind of ill advice takes away the energy and the focus needed to help a loved one.
Being a Care Partner is different. Care Partnering leaves the person whole. Care Partnering empowers. Care Partnering is a better label. For I am no longer a caregiver. I don’t show up, help, and go home to my family. I don’t get paid barely minimum wage to do what I do. I don’t handle hygiene, medication, or other things that a CNA would do.
Care Partnering is a combination of things – financial, medical coordination, insurance, legal, household, estate, food, shopping, phone calling, scheduling, managing everything but the basic ADL’s. (activities of daily living, in case you haven’t heard that one yet.)
As a Care Partner, my role doesn’t change a bit. I still do what I do. Most couldn’t do it. But I am no caregiver.