Archive for From Despair to Bliss

Good Vibrations – Attraction Good

Raising Your Vibe. Good Vibrations.

5 Great Ways to Raise Your Good Vibration

It’s not a new concept. Way back in the dark ages of the 70’s, my attorney cousin from LA talked about Vibes! Ellen was the happiest, kindest, and least likely to fall into the darkness of anyone I’ve ever met. She was just that happy lady who wanted to help people. She’s the first person whom I heard this from decades ago. I thought it was an LA thing.

The positivity movement has resurged. When people talk about Raising Your Vibration they are simply saying get those Good Vibrations humming along. It’s not just pollyanna positive, and not just a law of attraction theory. It’s the way to build happiness and attract good – lots of good. Some people masterfully raise their vibrations.. others use it to do harm and don’t even know it.

We all want to feel vibrant, happy, healthy, and positive.  Right? We know unconsciously that the way to do that is to combine several techniques.
I’m going to share the good, the bad, and the iffy. And I’m going to post links to some of the books that make a difference. There is a lot of whack out there. And I’ll reinforce the good and help you avoid the whack.

How do we ensure we are amping up our vibrations? How is easy. Why is the question? And when you learn these simple tricks, you can master your good vibrations.
Why do we even care?

you can change everything good vibrations to attract good

Energetic Boundaries by Cyndi Dale

Well, we care because we want to protect ourselves from negative energy. Failing to do so ultimately harms our internal boundaries – the ones that we don’t consciously think about. These are the ones that snag on little entrails of other people’s emotional claws. In the book Energetic Boundaries, the concept becomes clear. We must heal our energy boundaries in order to become free of the entanglements and unwanted hooks others put upon us — things that we accepted at some point are no longer working.

INVISIBLE POWER POSITIONS
We do this in 5  key ways. We make conscious what previously was an unconscious action. We learn to listen to our inner stillness. We come to know. We ask ourselves and listen for the answers. We know intuitively what to do if we turn in.

1: Foods – Eating for what you want – a high vibration, means eating foods that lighten and uplift you. Not diet foods, but foods that reach for the sky. Superfoods. Nutrient Dense, Colorful, high fiber, lower carb, and no sugar, no fake foods.  Sure we want to indulge, but when you do the 9010 program of eating, you naturally raise your body to a higher vibration. Eating better attracts all kinds of good. You know this. You know that when you clean up your diet, cut out the low fiber, no nutrient white foods, you feel lighter. You know that by simply cutting out heavy fatty foods you suddenly feel more energized. And you know that when you get rid of the sugary stuff, you have a steadier energy flow all day long.

A powerful book I picked up while in nutrition school crystallized my belief that food energy is not just the nutrients but how the food source was nurtured, raised, and processed. Steve Gagner goes into it deeply in his book, Food Energetics.

2: Activities – This one is simple. The more you move, the more energy you have. The more energy you feel, the more you do. This is step one in raising your vibrations. Good vibrations hum about you and other people feel it. You feel better. They feel good about you. That’s good vibrations.  And balancing this with calm is so important. I know. I can be absolutely energized to the point I walk in a room and heads turn. I’m not doing anything but feeling good and happy. What they feel is an energetic pull. It frightens some.  I eventually learned to find a balance. In part, seeking your tribe of movers helps with this one. It’s hard to maintain that high activity vibe when your friends want to sit and smoke and feast on crap food. So seek out your tribal dancers and get up offa that thang.  yeah, James Brown had it going on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_uNMy20qAI

3: Powerful Choices – Ok this is tricky. Choices make the difference. Do you feel down some days? Feel hopeless, unworthy, unloved? Do you dwell on the past? Do you find yourself remorseful? I wasted far too much time grieving for what was never to be. I wanted what I couldn’t have and it was out of my control. But I loved them so much, I kept trying to figure out what I did that was so wrong — and there was nothing! CHOICES — POWERFUL CHOICES are the turning points. And when you CHOOSE POWERFULLY — you infuse yourself with a higher vibrational tuning.

4: Attentions – what you resist persists. Please give yourself a break. If you are constantly fighting something that keeps showing up in your conscience, address it. Don’t hide.There is a message there. But don’t obsess either. What you pour your attention on is what you bring to you. For example, when you focus on what you want – a job, a man, a new car — everything you see is filtered by that want. So when you focus on what you don’t want, that also becomes what you see.  I’m all for attending to stuff, and not ignoring the stinking thinking. It comes from somewhere, so it’s good to root it out. If you kill the top flower of a week, the root keeps growing. So while tending the garden of you, you have to keep an eye on the results you want and be willing to get rid of what you don’t. When you pull out the roots, they no longer grow. That’s freedom!

5: Intentions – Be clear here. What you intend must be aligned with you. You must find the way to hold your intentions in your heart-center, and know that while some things take time, all things are available when we are aligned with our intentions. My intention right now is to reset, to restart, to find the answer to How Can I Retire and Make a LOT of Money with much less effort? That’s where I am. I’m intending to find solutions. The Intention Experiment is a juicy look into setting your intentions clearly. And many thanks to my friend, Mark Andersen for sending this to me. Such a nice gift from a good friend.

This morning, as I again revised a resume to pitch to another employer how great I think I am, I ran into an audio on Monster.com.  It’s not just another how to make money book pitch. It’s a lady who shares how she constantly struggled and then ultimately reclaimed her right to win and be bold.
Right there on Monster was a talk and an idea: Believe in your self. Be a Bad Ass. You are a Badass. So be one with it. And quickly, I picked up two books:

and

Why is any of this important? Why can’t we just go through life, living it on life’s terms? Why does intentionally raising our vibration even matter? Well, it matters because if you become the one people dump their story on when they are down but they run away when you are down, you are somehow letting them steal your energy. It became essential to me to re-establish and heal energetic boundaries. And then I had to reclaim my intentions. If you are a sensitive, an empath, a healer or even a caregiver, you know some of this. You just do. Turn inward, tap in, and see if it resonates.

It’s not that I want to start completely over. If I did, I’d be throwing away what I hold near and dear. ME. The ME I worked so hard to cultivate. The ME that had to accept what is in order to create what would be the new me. Failure wasn’t the issue. Rejection by loved ones was. I had to fight back from nothing into something and that included restoring the real me. The challenge is to maintain good vibrations while I swim through the challenging upstream of relaunching. The hard part is the rocks and boulders I encounter, and the easy part is to keep focusing on raising my good vibrations so that I bump up against but don’t bruise me.

That’s why I know. I know how hard it can be. I know that when CS called me and said: “You just aren’t happy enough for me. I’m letting you go” It wasn’t about me. And it still hurt. I hadn’t hired her. I said something she took wrong. And she judged me.  Fine enough. For I know this was the same woman who cried rivers on my shoulder about her crappy family stuff. I knew too that there was some truth to it for life was giving me a lesson and I’d not found the solutions yet. Beware the trolls! They sneak up on you, say something, and you have to be strong enough to take what you like and leave the rest.  Or leave it all. 🙂

The IFFY STUFF:
And that’s where the iffy stuff comes in. You can raise your good vibrations on your own. You don’t need a guru. You can get those Good Vibrations in so many ways. There is so much on this planet for us. But we must watch out for self-proclaimed guru’s who take our money while building their dreams of false lies and misperceptions. It’s sometimes cult like attractions.
I just tested this out. I have a lot of knowledge and experience. But someone offered a cheap online coaching thing that sounded fun. Lady offered dirt cheap coaching in a group. I may have been seeking synergy and friends, but after 45 days of so called online coaching, I knew they were not of my tribe. The pattern was clear. On day 40 she stopped doing her daily stuff and was promoting gently her next class – which of course was 3 x the price. The promise is an intangible feel good storyline and the offer is I can help you blah blah blah. If you accept, you pay to play, she tells you what she thinks, and you either get what you came for or you don’t. The results don’t last long so the coach hopes you go back for more.

“I hurt – they say they have answers – I feel better for a minute – then they are asking for more and more money – I’m not so sure anymore – one more class — then another – then wtf am I doing here!@”

Yeah — be your own guru. And if you want some help learning to do that, of course, I can help you. I’m not a guru. I’m not a saint. And a lot of self-proclaimed guru’s get really angry at me when I dare to share what I know. I’m not a threat to them, but they feel something challenging about me. It must be because I teach my clients and myself to tap into their own inner wisdom.

 

Change takes time – call today for a personalized program that’s all about you

Change takes time!
So you want to lose that weight? And you want to regain your strength? Or get flexible? Or maybe you are just tired of hurting all the time, aching, feeling stuffed? Maybe you just want to feel lighter and enjoy moving. Or you want to start looking great again.

Look: It took you a while to get where you are. So stop expecting overnight change.  Stop thinking you can lose 20 pounds a day! Stop torturing yourself with crazy expectations that just because you went off sugar for a week you will turn it all around. And please, stop beating yourself up because on day 8 you succumbed to the call of a cookie.

My new hair stylist tells me her hubby goes to a weight loss program. It’s expensive she says, but for $3000 he gets help losing weight, learning how to cook, learning how to live healthfully. While he is happily preparing whole clean foods, she can’t have her sweet treats in the house. She can’t even eat with him.

Guess what?
With the BeWellBistro plan, you get to make change fun! You get to have fun, lose weight and feel great as you make change matter.

breakfast isn’t boring anymore

You don’t need to spend $3000 for 10 months of food talks. You don’t do weekly meetings weighing in and scrutinizing your daily menu. If you buy packaged foods, it won’t be forced on you as the only way to do this. I might recommend some things, like my Univera Products or my favorite Bone Broth. but I’m just as happy sharing amazing recipes and teaching you to cook like a chef.  No boxed meals, baby.

All you need to do is decide right now that you really want to feel better. Not just lighter, but vibrant, happy, and positive. Yes, I can teach you to manage your moods, change your attitudes, and elevate your happiness. If that’s sounding good, just call me.

Change takes time. Diets don’t work. Spend more or your money on good food and education. Spend less on gimmicks and get rich quick schemes. You don’t need gimmicks — you need to find your true pathway to health. Retraining your brain to like healthy foods is only part of the solution. You don’t have to do it alone and you don’t need to blow the vacation budget either.

As your Integrative Health Coach, my goal is to help you recreate yourself for lasting health and high vibrational living. It’s not just food. It’s a balance. And it’s essentially the same concept that they taught at the Mayo’s Integrative Wellness consultation. Yep — it’s not even rocket science. But it takes time and commitment. The best way is to make one change at a time – but be committed to it 100%.  And that’s where my personalized coaching comes to be your most valued trick in the book.

Why do you need a health mentor? Your doctors will tell you what you need to do. Your spouse might just tell to lose weight. Your buddies will razz you until you succumb and drink that ‘one more’ beer or indulge in that cheesecake.  While they are doing their ‘job’, what you really need is that extra conscience. That voice in your head isn’t enough sometimes — you need a friend you can count on. That friend is your bridge to help you cross over to the healthy side of life.

Like the first little bloom — fighting our way through the cold and dark ..

Seriously, it’s become a big thing in our daily lives to have mentors for everything. When I grew up, it was ‘figure it out kid’, not here let me guide you.
With me on your team, you get that guiding spark that leads you down your path. What’s different about a health mentor?  We work on your personal life circle, spoke by spoke. We craft out a new you, together. You talk. I ask leading questions. We investigate, explore, and move you forward. And when the shit hits the fan, as it always does, I’m right there to get you back on track.

I invite you to change. I invite you to indulge in an individualized program based on YOU. From my school, we call it BioIndividuality — every human being is slightly different. No one program works for everyone.  So — Call today to start on yours!  It’s all about you.  425-246-8685

That’s why I’m still alive, folks. There are many points when it could have been a different ending.

My turning points:
I’ve been there. I’ve been heavy at 149 and I’ve been 98 pounds skinny. I grew up getting chastised for gaining even 3 pounds.  I’ve done lot’s of drugs and I’ve smoked 2 packs a day. And I’ve been an outdoor enthusiast who loves to move all my life.  I would run 8 miles and then light up. I’d drink at night and get up early to sweat it out. I’ve lost jobs, lost loves, lost friends and family… I’ve had good years, I’ve had horrible decades. Navigating life is about knowing yourself and having a strategy for long lasting health.

It wasn’t until I realized how much I can help you that I started pulling it together. My path started making sense. See – my life has far too many twists and turns to make into a pretty story. I had much pain to hide from and all the compulsive behavior was about a lifelong battle with self-esteem issues.  We all do weird stuff as we learn to love ourselves. And then it happens.

The minute we start to believe we are more important, have more value, have more worth — and that there is a reason we are who we are — from that moment, life starts changing. Sure we must have something to move forward to — but when one is dedicated, magic happens.

There are many twists and turns.  Extreme stress requires extreme self-care. Maybe just daily living requires constant extreme self-care.

Change comes by accepting what is

Inviting you to change

I haven’t always been a health nut. Even when I started out, I wasn’t perfect.
At 18, I made a choice… I didn’t want to wait until retirement to be healthy. I gave up bad habits. I chose to eat good foods and limit junk. I built an exercise program from scratch without the help of a trainer or even a gym. I changed what, when, and how I ate. And for years, I still lit up a cigarette far too many times a day.

Then someone died. Then another and another. Within 3 years, 7 people close to me died, 6 from cancer. Three of these dear ones were under 50!!~!
Precious loved ones were dying around me and I kept smoking…until Jerry S. had a return of cancer. That was it. I’ll never forget. I was at his memorial, and I just decided. That was a rough year. But losing Jerry turned a key.
It wasn’t easy to change at that age. It never is… but I really didn’t remember a time in my adult life without a cigarette handy. That was over 25 years of cigarettes as a fake and dangerous friend.

Yes, You CAN! If I can, you can! And I will teach you all my tricks!

Do you really want to stop smoking? Are you ready?

Do you really want to lose weight – or do you want to accomplish some other health goal?

I realize now that what I’d done was create the cornerstone of my practice by quitting smoking. There is much internal work to do to get you from thinking you are ready to really being ready. And if you give me 45 days, you can kick start your new life. And of course, you can sign on for ongoing coaching. But let’s get this show moving forward first. What I can teach you in 45 days can become your cornerstone to a new life.

It’s the same thing with any bad habit. In particular, the food problem.  You’ve got to get to the root reason that you continue to eat what you know you shouldn’t and find the pay off. There is always one – and in our work together, you learn all about hidden hook. for continuing on the road you follow before you will cross over a bridge to happier, healthier living. I’ve watched a man drop 60 pounds, be so thrilled and happy. I’ve witnessed a family lose 110 pounds. And another woman went from 350 to 120 and is a monster at cross fit. If they can, you can shed some excess weight. Why WAIT?

We work together through your ultimate transition and beyond. We keep you on track for a lifetime of lasting change.  And the truth is, I am your guide but YOU are the reason you are doing this. Because YOU are worth it. No quick fix, and no sudden change — but a lifetime of living well.

There are many roads to cross. Some of those roads have locked gates keeping you stuck. The key is within your reach.  That plan won’t be to eat clean 100% — that’s a set up for failure.

Listen to me: I tried that. I went overboard, actually. I was 25 and recovering from a lost job. I found a new one, but I felt amiss. As I mastered my work, I obsessed about every calorie. And not just what I ate. I obsessed about what I burned. Nothing entered my mouth that was not counted. I could tell you exactly how many calories it took to burn off everything I ate. Yeah, I looked great for a while. Then I was down to 98 pounds, I wore a size 0, my skin was taught, I looked like I was starving … and I still counted calories.  Only my uncle had the grace to mention it. No one should do that! Ever!

Once again, I made a new commitment. Reasonable was not obsessive. It was ok to not be a skinny me. I wanted to feel great and have fun, live life fully, and embrace the authentic me. Starvation was not on that menu.

You see many who just keep doing the same thing until literally scared to death. Something major happens. For me, I’ve had many awakenings over my lifetime. True Health begins with a desire to be your best. To get there, you have to learn to love yourself.

For most of my clients, it’s about retraining the brain. That’s why I integrate several modalities to help you arm yourself with all that you need.
You get support. You get knowledge. You get tools. And you get to learn to relax and reprogram your thinking.

These are things I help people work through. In our private coaching, what you get is a chance to really learn about you. I’ve worked with clients using a variety of tools: Visualization, Writing, Meditation, Light Trance (NLP) and rock solid dietary advice coming from studies in hundreds of dietary theory. I use my education in nutrition, adult learning, yoga, recreation, and writing to help you craft your personalized life plan for healthy living.

Don’t pay those guys with the cute logo and fun advertising. Just because the radio announcer is screaming about how he lost weight, it doesn’t mean it’s a plan for YOU in your life. How many other times did that same radio head scream about other weight loss programs? They sell you. You buy. You lose 10 – 20 – 30 pounds, and then you get off the path, fall into old ways, and wonder why you paid them. But you also blame yourself.

Let’s just stop this nonsense.

Call me! I’ll help.
call today for a personalized program that’s all about you
425-246-8685

Oh — here’s more on my health coaching website too: RamblinLambWellness – Nancy’s Coaching Programs

Disclaimer: Nothing is free. If only I had trees of money. But hey, my rates are determined based on quality education, knowledge, professional resources, and a lifetime of work. Not gonna say it’s free, but it’s your life and YOU are worth it.

New Super Food: Marijuana heals – Find out who is really behind blocking the plant use

Marijuana! If it’s so good why is it so bad?

New Super Food! Ok, it’s not new at all. And it’s not really a food. Marijuana – Cannabis – a plant that has far ranging benefits. My OB/Gyn mentioned cannabis when I asked about pain management. It’s no joke. It’s not just an excuse to get wasted. There are true medicinal and healthy lifestyle benefits from the mighty green. It’s a super plant.  Cannabis heals and helps people all over the world.

The Magic is in the Flower. It gives flower power a new meaning.

Marijuana – or Cannabis – does a lot of good. It helps a wide variety of people with a wide variety of ailments. It can be recreational or it can be medicinal.  Or Both. Marijuana! It’s time to break down the stigma and learn some truths. And coming from me, a long time health fanatic, it’s almost a contradiction – except that it’s not. Once I learned the truth, studied the history, studied the medicinal uses, it all became clear. It’s a plant. The real value comes when you use it with the right intention.

THE NEW SUPER FOOD!  Marijuana – it does more good than bad. When used with the right intention, it’s becoming the common choice for medical solutions too complicated for medical doctors to understand.

PTSD, Chronic Pain, Inflammation, Arthritis, Nausea, Skin issues, MS, and a bunch of other things are helped with no side effects. Doctors don’t seem to want to know. Less damage than wine, less toxic than most pills, double the anti-inflammatory effect than hydrocortisone with NONE of the side effects, sleep aid, energy, creative stimulus… It’s genius!

marijuana - it's a super plant

Medical Marijuana – A Natural Solution

 

And yet – the real opposition has nothing to do with abuse or addictions. Looks like it has everything to do with profit margins and fear of losing control – not by the people but by the corporate systems. It’s a threat to a major profit machine.

Weird. When one asks themselves why a doctor would ignore this simple, effective, non-toxic solution, or why the DEA refuses to change the schedule to make it non-criminal, there has to be a profit motive. It can’t be anything else. It’s not weird. It’s either misunderstood or it’s about money. Even when I completed the Anti-Inflammation and Oncology classes at Arizona State, nothing was mentioned about medicinal weed — AND THEY ARE THE FRONTRUNNERS on inflammation.
My recent studies indicate that pot has double the anti-inflammation effect than hydrocortisone.  It helps with PTSD, Stress, Anxiety, Depression, MS, CFS, Arthritis Pain, Epilepsy, Phantom Pain, and some say it can help with Alzheimers….   And NO side effects.

I’d talked with my OB/GYN. I went in for an annual visit. I asked her about pain management because this hip thing is destroying my ability to manage the rest of my life. We talked at length. She’s sold on the benefits, but can’t prescribe? What? Wait – it’s legal. I’ll just go to the store. When Washington State forced the Medical MJ shops to close, we lost valuable resources here. It’s really frustrating. And Fun because I’m learning. There is so much more to this than I’d ever imagined.

This isn’t the same weed I knew as a kid. It’s a sophisticated system of growing, and sophisticated delivery. Plus – I don’t want to get high. Not really. I made a commitment decades ago.

But now I read about the true reasons this plant became a controlled substance.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/09/09/a-maker-of-deadly-painkillers-is-bankrolling-the-opposition-to-legal-marijuana-in-arizona/

Choose Healthy: What do you want?

healthy-life-concept-handwriting-words-teen-topics-34254289

Choose healthy! What do you Want? How Can I help you get there? What do you need to get you to where you want to be?

What do you really want? You can’t find contentment if you don’t know what you are looking for.  Choose healthy: it’s always a choice. But what do you want? What do you really, really want? Is it less weight, more energy, deal with pain, counter fatigue? I can best help you if I truly know your needs. Not your wants. Not even your goals. What is it you need to do what it takes to get what you want?

Nancy here. We started this page as a hangout. A place to gather. I’d love some guest bloggers.  I’d love to exchange stories and see what a common focus is. I know what’s important to me. But what about you? What do you need to Choose Healthy? What is it that would elevate your choices from a kinda half-assed healthy to all they time Choose Healthy as a way of living?

Are you looking for ways to fight illness?
Ways to deal with arthritis?
Do you want meal plans, menu ideas?
Do you want budget focused healthy options?
Look- I’m not a rich chick with oodles of surplus money. If I can live healthy on any kind of budget, I can sure teach you my methods.
If it’s not knowing how to shop – I can help there too.
Some clients really just want validation, happiness, and self-love. They need to know that that ooey-gooey chocolate cake doesn’t mean death to their diet! And it doesn’t.
I don’t know — what do you really want.

How deep do we go here?   Do we want to talk recipes like our Mom’s used to do? My Mom got some of her best recipes by sitting around a table talking with her friends. They shared. They exchanged recipes. They talked about the latest tips and tricks. And then Mom made her own adaptation. So like my morning mashups, Mom would take a recipe, look in the fridge, and made something similar out of what she had.

Note: (Today’s mashup was spinach, cauliflower, mushrooms, and a tomato sauteed in olive oil with brewers yeast, garlic, salt, pepper and olive oil — then added ONE egg and scrambled it, put a little parmesan on top with some black sesame seeds. Tasty! )

Choosing healthy foods and getting exercise isn’t that tough. Stay out of the center aisle, buy fresh, eat clean, and get moving… those thoughts are pretty obvious.  So what is it that YOU want to keep you focused on doing what you already know you want to do?

What do you want from me, your healthy life coach?

How do you want it?  E-Book? Webinar? Video?  What’s the main delivery?  Or — do you want to talk live-time with me?

Do you want a guide for surviving the junk food aisles? Tips for giving up unwanted habits? A simple infographic card that keeps you on task?

Tell me what you want.  Really.  I want to know. If I can help you to do what I’ve done, I want to do it.

I want to create a platform to meet your needs.

Lessons Learned

20160704-IMG_1391Hey Friends,
Happy Independence Day. As I walked home alone from the neighborhood fireworks display, I realized how lonely it has become as a caregiver spouse. All the families were bunched in groups. They were happily engaged. Usually, people engage in friendly chatter with neighbors, but not this night. I sat alone. No one said much at all.

The night’s cheeriest greeting came from a kid as four young boys rode past me in the dark. He whooshed past me and called out Happy New Year.

I replied in kind. And smiled. For every single day can be a new beginning. If we let it. If we continue to wake each morning knowing that today is a new day. And for me, it’s all I’ve got. One new day after another. What that simple call out of a Happy New Year wish did for me was more than any fireworks show: it put a smile on my face. I knew that not only would tomorrow come, but the lonely night was at an end. All I needed to do was limp the remaining blocks home.

young woman in panic

Lessons learned are hard to face.

Living with a spouse who suffers from a little understood, chronic disease means a life filled with philosophical lessons learned. It has destroyed me. It has taken too much. I do what I can but it’s never enough.

While I put me aside to help him, I didn’t find the focus needed to build what I thought would be a fun and fruitful business. I didn’t find that new job either. I’ve been caregiver,  advocate,  business builder, job seeker and more for 8 years — much has been lost including dreams, friends, family…

Really, I did what any loving spouse would do under the circumstances. You just do what you can to help that person — whether it’s a week or a month or a decade, you do exactly what I’ve done. If you are lucky, you can hire help and family shows up to give a hand here or there. I’ve talked with many who agree — you do whatever you can.

No amount of healthy eating can change a disastrous illness. He can’t trick this thing into submission. A lifetime of green juice and avocado doesn’t cure it. Eating healthy for the sake of good health is but one way to help oneself.

Accepting that diagnosis pushed him off the health wagon.

I can’t fix it. Screw it.
There comes a time. That time is now. It’s just time to take my life and rebuild it.

No amount of platitudes relieves the constant worry which I so ably push aside to deal with the moment or the day. No amount of healthy positive attitude interrupts this cycle of hell. No amount of meditation, writing, exercise, or gratitude fixes what’s broken.  And yet – it’s what I have to cope.  It’s easy to stay in a weird form of denial, but one can’t swim upstream forever. Not without help. Not without a life raft. I need that raft NOW.

Coping skills are strong – I’ve been doing this too long. The only thing I really know is that my expertise in healthy living feels like a bunch of lies.

In ten years, he’s not gone more than 2 months without a relapse.  I don’t know which person shows up for the day. What I do know is my encouraging words are now empty zones. I can say something or not. If he wants to eat comfort foods like an opiate, that’s his choice.

The truth: It’s time to just turn it all over to God – God as I UNDERSTAND HIM – a higher power that is not me. I learned a different concept of Spirituality. It works for me. I’m not in control. I don’t need to be converted from my origins. I don’t need a new religion. It’s always interesting how some want me to change my religion to make them feel like they’ve done something to help.  And when I stick to my origins, they practice exclusion. Actually, it’s not interesting. It’s annoying.

When the caregiver is burnt out, there is nowhere to hide.

What sucks most is what I pondered yesterday. I finally got the big lesson learned. It’s not the loss of family. It’s not the loss of friends. It’s not even the loss of activities once loved and many once shared.  It’s the loss of independence! That’s what it is.  So yeah, Happy Independence Day!

 

Hearts Line

Hearts Line – Telling friends what was going on meant laying our hearts on the line. Living with the unknown, knowing a chronic illness was sucking the life out of us both — it was too much to bear. Hearts Line is about loving  the line of life with a chronic illness. Hearts Line. It’s what carries us forward. 

2 years ago – Crowd Funding – Honesty and Fear
We became transparent. We told the truth. Chronic Illness was killing us. We had few options. 

Was it worth it? I often wonder. 

Like the first little bloom -- fighting our way through the cold and dark ..

Like the first little bloom — fighting our way through the cold and dark ..

After 13 years of chronic illness, some years better than others, but a constant chasing the dragon, I know it was worth it. Knowing the dragon by name, calming it’s flames, and constantly seeking ways to survive with its crazy constant surprises .. it means we live with a dragon. Better the beast you know, right?  We’d chased doctors for 13 years. From the day after my Dad died until today, Rick’s fought this demon and it’s invisible, unkind, unpredictable, and constantly changing and challenging.

12 Step Principles applied to daily life with a chronic illness such as CFS / ME 

This CFS / ME is worse than dealing with an addiction. There is no beverage or substance to blame.
And yet, without the tools of the program, there is no surviving this.  The first principle I had to repeat daily was that I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.  It’s so important. Remembering this meant sanity. It meant I was not in charge of his recovery, I could help, I could guide, but ultimately, it’s not in our control. 
The 3s:
The three c’s are as important in chronic illness as they are in accepting an addiction.  So are the three A’s — Awareness, Acceptance and then Action. Until these are grasped, there is no serenity, no mindful awareness, no appropriate and timely action. Rushing into solutions can often cause more problems.

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Great Ways to Get Healthy

Great Ways to Get Healthy
It’s not a magic trick. It’s mind management.

Great Ways to Get Healthy also means Great Ways to save time and be cost efficient.  When you make one meal, make two or three for later.
It’s about advance preparation with mindful planning. think about it. Fast foods became ever more popular because we were suddenly 2 income families. What I propose is you can still enjoy fast foods — but you are about to make your own food faster, like it better, and feel better afterwards.

Chop the scallions and store. Cut the broccoli and cauliflower florets and store. Slice those cucumbers. Prepare in advance whatever you can. It’s planning and staging things so that when you want it you can have it. For years, I’d pre-pack little baggies of fruits and vegetables to bring to work. I know a working Mom who is happy to do so for her children, but she relies on Costco prepackaged hard boiled eggs for herself.  What the? Why not just boil the eggs and prepackage them yourself? 11 minutes in a pot of boiling water. Save money, save time, be healthy. You have no idea what Costco adds to those eggs to make them stay fresh longer.

One evening, I found myself chopping up salad ingredients and decided the heck with it. I cleaned all the produce we’d just purchased, chopped everything up and put it in small sealed containers. Suddenly, a salad was going to take 5 minutes instead of 30. Adding vegetables to other dishes was a breeze. Omelette with vegetables? Rice Bowl with a little-spiced chicken and veggies? Done in no time.  Mise en Place makes for a high efficient kitchen. Especially if you’ve got a needy loved one or if you are injured yourself. Save yourself the time and stress. Get it done in advance.

So many have openly wondered how I do it or how they can better do this caregiving thing. We are all fast reaching that the point where someone we love is going to need help. And with my tips, you can make it both cost effective and easier. You’ll love the results because you’ll enjoy better health, more energy, and maybe more patience. Trust me, patience is essential. And to maintain that, you need to nurture yourself as much as you need to nurture your loved one.

I want to share my favorite tips for making this journey easier.

First up is food preparation:
It’s always easier to prepare your produce in advance.

When you have all the foods prechopped and ready to go, you have extra time to get creative. So do your shopping for 3 – 5 days, clean it, chop it, and store it so you can just toss it into a salad, a tuna casserole, or whatever.  Yes, you lose a little bit of nutrient when you clean and chop your carrots first, but that is vastly better than not eating your fruits and vegetables. The best way to ensure you eat your fruit and vegies is have them as readily available as the cookies. If it is there and ready, you are far more apt to enjoy the healthy side of life.

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 2.50.13 PMIt even works with a roasted chicken.  Roast your own! Don’t just buy one. Buy and roast two chickens.  Enjoy one with your first meal.  Carve some slices for sandwiches, cut some chops for salads, enchiladas, or add-ins for chicken soup.  And don’t throw out the bone, drippings or neck. Throw all of that in a pot, cover with water, add carrot, onion, and celery, add seasonings. Bring that pot to a boil, and then simmer for hours.  It’s a good idea to skim the top of all that bubbly stuff before the fat renders to the top. That is usually a little dirt and your soup tastes much better without it. Cook it down until all the ingredients are falling apart, then strain it off. Now you have a lovely broth that you can cook down to a stock or enjoy as a rich broth. Folks – that is about 5  and maybe 6 meals with 2 chickens and only one roasted chicken mess to clean up.  Not bad!

I don’t make a big production of it. I just take the time to clean it all while I am preparing one meal. That way I don’t make Sunday a cooking day. You can. I know people who spend every Sunday prepping and cooking and packaging portion sized meals. You’ll have to figure it out. But get it done.

Next up: Get Blending
It’s really fun, simple, and fast. The best smoothies and soups are made with market fresh ingredients and whole foods. If you are like me, sometimes breakfast is a bit tough and I won’t do raw eggs in my smoothy any more. I found a great soy free, dairy free protein based on rice protein. It’s called RAW Garden of Life. I’ve checked with the vendors. This is a great product.

citrussplendor-2

I admit it. I am affiliated with BlendTec. They approached me, asked me to try out their blender, and you know what? It does a great job at nearly everything. I’ve posted a couple links on my page because I can get you a nice deal. It looks like even the refurbished models which are already a great price, provide you another $100 off if you click my link from the page bottom.
But the real deal is this: Buy the best you can afford, store it in a convenient place, and USE IT. I’ve included the Blend Tec recipe book for you to kick off your crazy happy blending.

Peace – The Greatest Gift of All

Peace! The Greatest Gift of ALL

Peace. Seek Peace. Be the stillness. Be at Peace. Calm the waters of your mind. Find peace and then visualize.

Years back when my soul journey began in earnest, there was a popular song titled The Greatest Love of All.  I challenge you now — to revise that old line to The Greatest Gift of All — for it is in Peace that we find everything we need. EVERYTHING. I’ve asked myself for years now: What is really in the way of getting results. Whether it is finding a job, lining up enough clients, monetizing my website, getting help for my hubby, selling, buying, staying sane, having fun, keeping any momentum on anything….the ONE KEY to it all is PEACE.

Peace on Mt. Erie - a magical morning

Peace brings a calm clarity leading to effective action.  This is a magical Sunrise at Mt. Erie, WA

It is obvious to me that the last 9 years of caregiving have made Peace rather elusive and results even less stellar.  So many big things. You know that list of high stressors? That list of the biggest stressors in life? When you have nearly all of them on your plate and the world seems to be saying “Let’s just see how much you can take, little lady”, all you can do is keep going and keep juggling. Until instead of dropping a ball, you just sit down and bawl. Still, there must be a solution… Read More→

Self-Nurturing Day 4 – Do something new

Self-Nurturing Project Day 4 was all about taking care of that which needed attention.

Self-Nurturing Day 4 - Visible Results

Day 4 – Do something new to you

Self-Nurturing Day 4 is about visible and invisible results – back to a state of grace – back to being all that one is. Self-Nurturing Day 4was all about growth and stretching.  If you don’t know you can do something, and then you do it well, it feels good.
I enjoyed stepping out of my comfort zone. I did some things I don’t normally do. I fixed the grout in 2 bathrooms, then I caulked a couple places. This sounds simple if you know what you are doing. I don’t.  I finally decided I had to take care of it. I was committed. If I was buying a house, I’d look at all the little things as part of my decision. The cracked grout made a gorgeous bathroom look old and worn. It’s pretty good, eh?

I felt happy when I finished this little project. It didn’t take long. It had been bothersome for a long time. Doing it accomplished 3 things: 1) stretching my skills, 2) visual sense of accomplishment and 3) a little boost of confidence.  Sure there were a couple moments, but easily handled. And the beauty is I know – as a woman – that doing this is going to help sell the house.  That gives me a bit more peace and hope.

Good Job, Kiddo!

And there’s more Self-Nurturing Day 4.  This Self-Nurturing Project is already becoming a gift.

In Your Greatest Gift, by Richard Dotts, I am daily reminded of the value of going deep into peace. Many are immersing themselves into books and thought on manifestation. It’s always been somewhat elusive to me – but the key is revealed in this work. Thus, each morning, I ask myself the following question in the quiet zone:

  1. What one thing can I do today to nurture me?

I follow it with other solution questions and especially this one:

  1. What one thing can I do today to fulfill my needs?
Self Nurturing Day 4 - plan your work

Self-Nurturing Day 4 – Learn from the Masters

Today’s Self-Nurturing Project – Day 4 of 365 Days of Self-Nurturing found me studying the copywriting masters. It began with a Facebook post by a new writer.  As I answered, I dug up some information. It led me to study – seriously study from the masters. AND create my reading list for 2016.  This is important. This is critical. I need to make some lasting changes. And I am focusing again.

I am a writer. I’ve been writing since 7th grade. It was my way. I returned to writing as my need for self-expression (without interruption) grew. When I write, no one edits me before I finish my thought. No one cuts me off before I hit the last period. It is a journey into self-expression as a healing art. Then it became a career. I wrote letters, training,  and articles for non-profits. Then the technical revolution hit and there was more money to be made serving software, aerospace, and financial corporations.

Journey ==> Journaling — Get it?  My high school English teacher, Mr. Foubert, had us write in a journal every day. We had to turn in our journals for review. Mr. Foubert mocked mine at first. It was all emotional stuff until I learned what he wanted: Essays on stuff that matters in life. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but he taught me to think. He taught me to look deeply for understanding and to discuss meaningfully.   Mr. Foubert ignited my passion for real writing – essays about life, about worthwhile issues, about how to express in a meaningful way. Mr. Foubert taught me to think, to review, to write.   We learn from the most unexpected situations, right?  

After several short-lived career attempts, writing became my career. I wrote letters, training,  and articles for non-profits. Then the technical revolution hit and there was more money to be made serving software, aerospace, and financial corporations.  And always, I wrote in my journal. 

Haven’t you often done something because it was fun and fulfilling – and later thought about how to transition into doing that for a living? That’s what I did. Back then, the act of writing was the self-nurturing project that worked for me. Thus, Self-Nurturing Day 4 involves journaling and writing — and learning to grow. The commitment here is to study from the masters. I made my list. I have the beginnings of a clear plan. It matters not that it’s not crystal clear yet. It’s still a beginning and it’s only Self-Nurturing Day 4.

What comes easy to me is as a hobby requires a focused study if I am to make this work.
2016 is getting off to a hot start and I want to ensure I survive.  My list will guide me.

That said, this is a great time to introduce an inspiration for me. Meet Lori Morgan Ferrero – She’s the Red Hot Copy lady who ignites passion with purpose in her writing.  Studying from the masters is the way to go. If you are looking for a great retirement income, check out her books. While I’d rather everyone hire me, I’ll have to admit I learn much from the inspiration of others and Lori is at the top of my list. She’s got the women’s perspective, she’s classy, and she’s a spark of red hot positivity.

Part of self nurturing is expanding the brain. Doing one thing every day that I don’t normally do may become a habit. I highly encourage anyone reading this to consider it as part of your recovery from stagnancy.

Goal Setting or Effective Action

Goal Setting Day 2016.

January 1, 2016. It’s almost here. The big day when we all start talking about Goal Setting and New Years Resolutions. Do you still do it? Publicly claim your new year’s resolution?  Goal Setting or Effective Action Planning — introducing a new way to change your mindset and really achieve results

I propose you do it differently this year. Make it an Effective Action Map — a circular process that takes you from dream to vision, to obliterating the blocks, to asking solution based questions, identifying what is in your toolkit, creating an effective plan, taking action, knowing how you will feel when you reach you have achieved, and finally celebrating your success.  

It matters not how big or how small the goal is. What matters is that you learn this strategy for acheiving real results.  

On my new page,  I demonstrate the value of circular mapping to success.  Take a look. I’d love to hear what you think. I know it looks like a fun diagram, but I am proof that it works. 

The Effective Action Model Read More→