It’s always something!
Yep – we now know my limit on supporting someone with a chronic illness and it’s a good thing. It’s been a weirdly heated week. I consider myself informed, patient, understanding, and caring. But my limit — when complete strangers start telling my spouse that I am undermining his recovery or harming him in any way.
I just want to scream! It’s always something on these stupid online forums.
Bottom line: Beware the predators on online self-help quasi-medical forums. There are tons of support groups on facebook — many start out as a group where people can join to share common experiences. They all seem to become a medical forum where lay people give other lay people medical advice. Just stay out of there.
In my training as an integrative health coach practitioner, and my experience as a human being — giving unqualified medical advice, prescribing medicine, treatments, and supplements, or telling people exactly how they need to demand tests or social services is just wrong! I recommend people just find a medical person who can help, guide, and help you to make sense of it all. That’s what my guy does. At no charge, I can simply ask him what he thinks of some idea, and I get a well composed, logical, science-based outcome.
Giving unqualified medical advice, prescriptions, or diagnosis, or telling people exactly how they need to demand tests or social services is just wrong! It is one thing to say “I am trying this and you might have luck with it” and another to say: “You have to get this testing to properly diagnose and it is only done in one place and no one else can help you” or to say that there is only one cure for an illness for which there is no known cure. Lay people can’t touch this stuff. Professionals are under strict laws regulating what they can do.
And you can’t march into a social services agency and demand services that they don’t offer or demand services that you haven’t proven you qualify for. Entitlement attitudes are what are destroying what was a good idea to help others. That’s the root of the problem.
I recommend people just find a medical practitioner you feel you can trust — and stay out of these forums. Our experience this week has given me a full on new perspective and attitude. I suddenly got it.
Heidi H and Elaine B felt so threatened they needed to have me banned from their little imaginary fiefdoms — and that means I must be a powerhouse that threatens their self-esteem. That’s awesome. I’m powerful. It’s so funny — so funny to suddenly see it from this viewpoint. I’m not a victim. I’m a powerful threat. hah.
Well, Heidi and Elaine, bless your hearts. You’ve done far more good than you can possibly know.